I'm a visual animal to begin with, and Pinterest feeds my first language directly without any words; I'm usually a fan. As my collection of pins grow the feed starts to show things that the Pinterest A.I. thinks I'll be interested in. That impartial comparison revealed a number of interesting and not particularly flattering connections to motorcycles. Apparently a large number of people who make motorcycle themed boards on Pinterest don't think too much of women. They either enjoy taking shots at their biological functions or treating them like sex toys. This gets tiresome quickly when you post nothing like this on your boards. How overt sexism possibly has anything to do with motorcycles is beyond me, other than the fact that a lot of people who profess to love motorbikes also evidently have strongly held beliefs about the inferiority of women and like to post disparaging images to support and publicize that belief. The A.I. isn't judging, it's just matching up evident associations between what I would have described as diverse, unrelated interests. But there is a calculable statistical connection between people who post pictures about motorcycles and people who like to advertise the fact that they are a sexist asshole. If there wasn't the maths wouldn't have put that crap in my feed. I find it all a bit embarrassing. When you tell Pinterest you're not a fan of these suggestions it begins to tune them out. It's taken the better part of a week of continual weeding to clean out my feed, which makes me sad. The clingyness of this statistical connection suggests it's a strong one, which leads to the question: are the majority of motorcycle riders sexist? If they are then I guess Pinterest's AI should keep doing what it's doing, but I hope my actions are making that AI a bit better at connecting interests. Not everyone who is into bikes is a mouth breathing jerk.
When the AI isn't battering you with overt sexism, it's hammering you with what appears to be insecure man syndrome. Apparently the women hating angry men are also very insecure and like to post images and words that I can best describe as mad-bragging. I've never gotten the chest beating "I'm a tough guy" talk. Anyone who spends a lot of time telling you how tough they are probably isn't.
Evidently there is mathematical evidence that many people who like motorcycles also have a tendency to hate women and nurse giant insecurity complexes; or perhaps they are just the loudest ones.
What got me wondering about this was a sudden increase in the bimbo on a cruiser/angry man images in my feed. What really pushed me over the top was an overt reference to Trumpist conservatism that verged on white supremacist. I was so shocked by the pin that I removed it immediately. I'd be embarrassed to be associated with an image like that. Afterwards I was noticing a proliferation of other biker nonsense and started screen grabbing it as it happened. I wish I'd kept the first one as it makes the later ones look tame by comparison. It makes me wonder just how poisonous and nasty some people's feeds could become. You could make the argument that it's what they want to see, but if were Pinterest I wouldn't feel good about spreading that kind of negativity.
If you look at my Motorcycle Media page, you won't find any bikinis or angry biker threats, yet Pinterest clearly sees a statistical connection between those subjects and what I'm into. Any women in my pages are conspicuous in that they are riders, not adornments, and are clothed as such.
From that Motorcycle Media board. WTF Pinterest? I'm starting to think the AI is going full HAL.
From a technical perspective I wonder if Pinterest are looking just at keywords or whether they have something smarter going on with image recognition. Considering it's Pinterest I'd hope it's the later, yet they seem intent on trying to hook me up to the angry-white-guy-biker vibe, which I've never shown any interest in. Perhaps these are teething pains as Pinterest seems to be exploring AI quite aggressively.
I've bumped into North American biker culture before, and it usually hasn't been all that much fun. It seems particularly comfortable with a view of masculinity that seems pretty antiquated. These archaic misogynists appear determined to cling to their 20th (19th?) Century ideas. This doesn't bother me that much because they're on the wrong side of history, I just wish Pinterest wasn't so intent on slapping me in the face with them.
Another benefit of doing a trip as a class project was pushing me to find alternatives to Google Maps, which I generally use for trip planning. It makes pretty maps and I like that I can get a sense of what I'm looking at through street view and satellite imagery. It's relatively easy to use and lets you quickly put together distances, though not easily in segments.
Google Maps lets you switch to Google Earth view and show the geography of the area (in this case The Twisted Sisters -
the top motorcycling road destination in the US). It makes for pretty maps, but I had to add in extra
waypoints to keep it off the boring highways and on the interesting tarmac.
Where Google Maps really falls short is on longer trip planning as it tends to be car focused and can't understand why anyone wouldn't want to sit on an interstate all day in a box. Trying to coerce Google Maps onto twisty roads is a tricky business, especially with limited way point options. You quickly run out of pins to stick in the map when you're constantly fighting the software's predilection for making your trip as short and boring as possible.
Google Maps' real talent is ease of sharing - it's easy to get links or embedding code.
Being back in the classroom has me looking for escapism, so I've been reading ADVrider's Epic Ride Reports. There is nothing like reading a ride report from someone's RTW trip to set you free from a regimented schedule. While on there I came across a couple's ride from Toronto and around the US. Chelsey was planning their trip on Furkot, which I'd never heard of before. This piqued my interest because some of my students would benefit from an easier/more fully featured digital trip planner. Getting into Furkot was pretty straightforward, you can login using a social media account. It took me about five minutes to transfer my pieces of Google Map from my road trip project into it, and there were no stingy limits on way points. It was when I got into the details that Furkot really lit up. Not only does it auto-set your stops for each day based on what you think your mileage is going to be, but it'll also find you hotels and preset you gas stops based on the range of your vehicle. When you make a map you can keep it private or share it, and if you share it you immediately get a link to it. Furkot also gives you a share page which has more social media connections (left) than I thought existed, so it shares well. I only monkeyed around with it for twenty minutes, but I feel like I haven't even scratched the surface. You can set your trip to your vehicle and I get the sense that a motorcycle selected trip gives you motorcycle specific results. I look forward to sharing it with my class tomorrow as well as playing with it more myself.
Where the journey's the thing...
In the meantime I've been thinking about Google Maps. The API for Maps is open and used by lots of people to create custom mapping applications. Had I more free time on my hands I'd get into it and build out a motorcycling focused mapping app using Google Maps. The idea came up at the Lobo Loco rally as well. A rally specific app that allows for many GPS way points and more motorcycling focused roads would be a real treat. As would a simplified interface that would work from the busy and limited input environment of a motorcycle saddle. A simplified G-Maps that focuses on the ride would be a cool project.
I've been perusing the youtubes for motorcycle related videos and came across a couple of humdingers. The first is BLAZER, a short (16mins) motorcycle mood piece based on a quote from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. If you've got the patience for it, Blazer builds from a joyous ride in the country to that moment we've all experienced where the machine you love becomes your worst enemy. The conversation between the biker and his old Triumph is one anyone with an older and/or dodgy vehicle has had.
Don't be internet impatient and you'll enjoy where this goes. The production values are excellent.
The second is another atmospheric piece (I'm a media arts teacher, what can I say? I love moody artsie shorts!) This one is about a bike mechanic in London (UK). It follows not only his work but his ethos. This piece not only follows the art of the mechanic, but it also follows the art of the craftsman. Once again, if you're an internet twitch addict you'll find this long and boring, but if you can lose yourself in a narrative, this one is lovely.
The next is another fantastic video production that catches the raw, wild feeling of riding. Cafe bike based and focused on friends completing a bike journey together, the video uses strong visual editing and audio to put you into their saddles.
This video uses music as effectively as BLAZER to put you into a motorcycle riding frame of mind.
If you're looking for a more documentary approach, the Classic Motorcycles documentary series will give you an accessible review of the beginnings of such classic British marquees as Ariel.
Open these up in the full youtube window and you'll get suggestions down the right side about similar videos. You'll discover a wealth of motor cycle culture well beyond the frantic, herd minded focus on current motorcycle news.
If you're in the mood for a motorbike adventure to the top of the world, give yourself fifty minutes and give this a watch...
Evidently the company that runs this trip is no longer doing business, but here's hoping they are able to get it going again, what a journey. This is a compilation of amazing video. Other than the first track I generally enjoyed the musical accompaniment too.
What surprised me was the level of acrobatic control that is possible on a bike, and the drifting is astonishing. Between the stunt bike riding and the race footage, it makes me wonder how someone learns this degree of control. A bike with no plastic fairings that got dropped a lot must be somewhere in their past. I've often thought that an old dirt bike that I could drop without worrying about it would help me get a feel for the limits on a bike, even at low speeds.
On a now-for-something-completely-different in terms of motorbike media, I'm finishing up the bike hole. For decoration I wanted something bikey. My wife got me some fantastic hand drawn prints while we were in England this summer, so they were destined for the finished garage. I also wanted some clean pictures of modern bikes that I like. We just set up a photo printing station at work, so I found some clean, high-def side views of bikes on white backgrounds that made for some nice 4x6s. The end result is a nicely bike themed bike hole. It's not quite finished yet, but it's looking good.
As I got into motorcycling, I came across Ewan McGregor & Charlie Boorman's Long Way Round. I HIGHLY recommend it if you enjoy travel documentary. The Long Way Down is a second trip they took that felt a bit more rushed, but still very enjoyable. The idea of being on a bike, out in the world, and seeing the world, has real pull for me. And so... the Pan American Motorcycle Diaries: From Toronto to Rio for the 2016 Olympics. Courtesy of Straw Dogs (originally published February, 2013):
The North and Central American ride
gearing for 500kms a day in the States, 2-300 a day in Central America
minimizing interstate/get there fast without seeing anything roads
the idea is to get away from the local touring scene as soon as possible and get into the once in a lifetime bit (Central & South America)
Using the new ferry service from Colon, Panama (on the Carribean side) to Cartegena on the north coast of Columbia.
much cheaper than trying to charter a boat down the Pacific side
regular, dependable service
more than enough space for everyone to go at once
Chilean Atacama Desert & Volcanoes
The South American portion now includes Columbia and an angle through the Atacama desert in Chile. The end result is a more economical, shorter trip (though with more time on the ground in South America) and we still get to add another two countries to the roster.
7000kms in North & Central America (6 days in The States at 500kms a day, 22 days in Central America at 2-300kms a day)
A 500km/7 hour ferry trip from Panama to Columbia
8000kms in South America (27 days at 300kms/day)
Even if we reduce the South American mileage to 200kms/day, we're still only looking at 40 days.
With the reduction in time and cost, we could easily leave mid-May and arrive without rushing (including days off and/or diversions) at the beginning of August.
May 17th, 2016 departure from Southern Ontario.
North & Central America: 7000kms
CANADA: 325kms to U.S. border ~ first day - stop in Toledo? USA: 2700kms to the Mexican border ~ 6 days, 6 nights MEXICO: 1800kms to Guatamala ~ 7 days, 7 nights GUATAMALA: 300kms to El Salvador ~ 2 days, 2 nights EL SALVADOR: 328kms to Honduras ~ 2 days, 2 nights HONDURAS: 150kms to Nicaragua ~ 2 days, 2 nights NICARAGUA: 360kms to Costa Rica ~ 2 days, 2 nights COSTA RICA: 560kms to Panama ~ 3 days, 3 nights PANAMA: 581kms to Colon (ferry) ~ 4 days, 4 nights
North America: 6 nights Central America: 22 nights
Gas per day ~ $30 avg (higher in expensive countries, lower in cheaper countries)
lodging per day ~ $60 avg each (shared accommodation)
food per day ~ $40 avg (lower/higher)
~ $130/day/person
54 day trip = ~$7000 each
Had I the means, I'd offer ten places and budget $10,000 per person and do the trip from May 17, 2016 to August 1st, 2016. The seats would be filled by people willing to document the experience using various forms of media from their own distinct perspective. I'd want people of various backgrounds who would all bring their own insights into the experience of riding through such a diverse range of cultures and climates. I'd then take the results and build a travel documentary in multiple media about the experience.
The Pan American Motorcycle Diaries
A two month odyssey along the spine of the Americas. Out of the Great Lakes basin, across the Mississippi and the Mid-West, through South Western U.S. desert, along the Mexican coast before crossing the back of Mayan Mexico and tracing the Pacific coast of Central America all the way to the Panama Canal. Recrossing to the Caribbean side of Panama, we take a ferry service to Cartegena and trek south through Columbia into Ecuador. Following through the Andes and bouncing off the South Pacific shoreline, we enter Peru and after heading inland to Machu Picchu we skirt Lake Titicaca (I just wanted to say skirt Titicaca) and head south into the Chilean Atacama desert. Crossing volcanic Chilean Andes we enter Bolivia and finally cross the back of the Andes into the Amazon basin. The rest of the trip skirts Brazilian jungle on the way to Rio on the South Atlantic coast.
It took me almost a month to slowly work my way through this complex piece of media. I originally came across an excerpt from it in Bike Magazine and it was so moving that I immediately purchased it. I'm generally not a fan of coffee table books. I've always thought of them as flash over substance and a decoration for yuppies to strategically place in their perfect living rooms to impress guests. It took some powerful writing in that excerpt to overpower my prejudice about this format, and I'm glad it did. Writing is only a small part of this 'book', and calling it a book isn't really fair to it. This is a piece of art; it feels more like you're walking through an emotionally powerful art exhibit. The author, Todd Blubaugh, was a photographer by trade, so this all starts to make sense as you fall into his aesthetic. Between the pages of powerful and technically complex photography you find short pieces of narrative text that pin down the corners of Todd's six month quest for meaning after his parent's unexpected death in a car accident.
If you've lost a parent in unexpected circumstances with things left unsaid, Todd's meditative ride around the continental U.S. will raise a lot of your own ghosts. This was one of the reasons I savoured it so slowly. After reading each emotional upper cut, you're immersed in several pages of photography of life on the road. Working in black and white on a film camera, Todd's images tend toward startlingly frank personal portraits of the people that he meets on his travels. Todd must be a particularly disarming fellow as he's able to catch people with almost animal like honesty - were I able to do this, I'd be much more interested in human portraiture. As it is, it's a joy to see a master like this at work.
As you travel with Todd further into his trajectory away from the things that anchor most people to their lives (job, family), he surprises you with artifacts from his parent's lives. At moments like this the book feels more like a scrapbook or family album, with news articles about his Dad's tour in Vietnam and his mother's paintings offering you further insight into the scope of his loss. The letter from his Dad at the end of the book had me in tears.
Todd tells two entwined and complex stories in Too Far Gone. His disassociation from the habitual, stationary life that most people live reaches a climax in a conversation with an old sailor that will leave you, along with Todd himself, staring into the abyss. Free from the responsibilities most of us labour under, Todd is able to focus on his loss with such a startling clarity that it will shake you. This book pressed a lot of buttons for me. As a photographer I greatly enjoyed Todd's eye, even (and especially because?) it is so different from my own. Todd's relationship with motorcycling (old Harleys and biker culture) is also about as different from mine as can be, yet the sense of brotherhood still felt strong because Todd is never once preachy or superior about his infatuation. Instead, his honest love of motorbikes comes across loudly, and that is something we share. As someone who lost a parent and experienced that same phone call out of the blue, Todd's experience is something that cuts me deep. In coming to understand Todd's relationship with his dad I can't help but reflect on my own difficult and distant relationship with my father. I lost the parent that I most identified with and have a challenging relationship with the other one, but Todd's parent's were still together and he lost both at once. It's the things left unsaid that gnaw at you afterwards, and losing both parents together while they are still paragons in your life is something I can only imagine. We all lose our parents eventually. If you haven't yet, this book will give you an emotionally powerful idea of how it feels, and how someone has worked through the scars of that experience. If they're already gone, your sympathy will create powerful echoes. There are a few motorcycling themed books that plumb philosophical depths. Zen And The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Shop Class As Soulcraft in particular have spoken intelligently and deeply about the meditative nature of motorcycling. Too Far Gone is a multi-media, large format book that takes you to the same place through different mediums, but it does it while also offering an emotional intelligence that is hard to find anywhere else. Immerse yourself in this book, you won't be disappointed.
What you need and nothing else. After six months on the road Todd looks as homeless as he is, and has to make a decision...
I'm a big fan of Top Gear, and I especially enjoy their travel/challenges. I've always dreamed of planning one, getting people silly enough to commit to it and then making it happen. In the summer of COVID I'm finding myself daydreaming of possible adventures, so I started poking around on the internet trying to find how far north roads go in Ontario. Bafflingly, Ontario has never connected to its own north sea shore by road. For a province that has thousands of kilometers of ocean shoreline, Ontario seems intent on convincing its citizens that it's land locked. I'd love to ride 1000kms north to the sea, but it's not an option. James Bay is roughly in line with Scotland, so its not like it's in the arctic. In the meantime, it looks like Windigo Lake north west of Thunder Bay is as far north as you can ride in Ontario on your own wheels:
...which offers us a great thematic riding challenge! It's time to go to Windigo (instead of Bendigo), Morty! Here's the inspiration in case you're not hip to Rick & Morty:
Here's the Top Gear style WE'RE GOIN TO WINDIGO, MORTY! Moto Travel Challenge:
Each participant gets a $3000 budget for a bike and any farkles that must include a safety certificate. Ownership is by WG2W Productions, pending the bikes return to Elora within 10 days of the event, at which point ownership is signed over to the rider. Safety and taxes should be about $400, so that leaves about $2600 for a bike and farkles
Insurance and ownership is managed by the event
All riders must have a valid Ontario M class license
Camping equipment is provided to each rider individually based on a sponsored selection of gear (rider's choice) Each rider will be provided with bear gear.
Each participant has to do any repair or maintenance on their own bike. Only other competitors can assist.
Google maps says it's a 27 hour ride to Windigo. Riders can only be on the road between 7am and 7pm, so the most efficient (and luckiest) should arrive in Windigo on day three in the morning. At 12 hours per day of possible riding, 27 hours = 2..25 days of riding. The earliest rider with a perfectly timed ride would arrive at Windigo at 10am on day three of the event.
Timing for the event takes into account speed limits. Any rider caught speeding is disqualified.
Any overnight stops while riding to Windigo must be wild camping following leave-no-trace rules. Proof of camp site cleanup must be included on rider GoPro footage or a time penalty is applied.
The rider who gets to Windigo (getting to Windigo means arriving at the lake on your bike and dipping a toe in) as close to 27 hours of riding after leaving the start line as possible, wins!
Riders can choose how to use their daylight hours to ride. In the case of a tie, the rider to get to Windigo the soonest and closest to 27 hours of riding after race start wins
Winner gets a We're going to Windigo, Morty gold medal. There will be silver and bronze finalist medals too. Smallest displacement and oldest bikes who finish also get awards
Any participant who finishes this long distance riding rally and is able to ride back to the start line within a week of the competition end can keep their bike!
...followed by 469kms of challenging unpaved roads to the end of all roads.
A paved odyssey...
This isn't an easy ride. It starts with almost 1700kms of riding on paved roads ranging from the biggest freeway you can imagine to single lane tar patched, northern frost heaved back-road. You've then got almost 500kms of riding gravel up to where all roads end at Windigo. Trying to do this on a one trick pony like a cruiser would be entertaining, but likely unsuccessful. This is a challenge for a multi-purpose motorcycle!
The 599 highway isn't Google car photoed once you get on the gravel, and you're constantly dodging lakes this deep into the Canadian Shield. The closest I could get was this photo of the Mishkeegogamang Band Office, which shows a graded gravel road out front. Fuel stops are few and far between, some cunning planning will be required!
BIKES
There are some interesting choices at the bottom end of the bike market in Ontario:
A bike that'll handle the off-road part of this trip, though it isn't built for the thousands of kilometres of paved road leading to the hundreds of miles of gravel fire roads. Capable of handling the camping gear too. Should come in on budget on the road.
Low mileage, in good shape and comes safetied, so you'd have a bit left over for farkles. It'd chew up the pavement side of WG2W effortlessly, but that windshield might never see Windigo (Morty).
Big Honda touring bike, high miles, but it's a Honda. It'd be a handful on nearly a thousand kilometres of gravel, but some people like that. Should come in under budget and ready to make miles. The paves stuff would flash by on this and it could carry camping gear with ease!
Low miles, Kawasaki dependable, in great shape. The Versys is short for versatile bike system, just what you'd need to get to Windigo (Morty). The 650 is a lightweight bike that'll handle gravel, and it has luggage and mounting points for some soft bags. I'd probably be able to get it for $2300 certified, which gives me a bit for some soft saddle bags, then I'm off to the races! This'd be my choice. Might spill my extra cash on some 70/30 semi-off road tires.
There are lots of other interesting choices that you could get road ready for under three grand in Ontario. Seeing what people choose and how they prep the bike for long distance, multi-surface, remote riding would be half the fun. To stretch the choices there would also be trophies for the oldest bike and smallest displacement bike to finish the ride, so some people might go after those rather than the timed competition.
PRODUCING IT FOR TV
All bikes have GoPros to capture footage and all riders agree to provide at least 15 minutes of speaking to camera dialogue per day while in the rally. All competitors have to document their camp build and take down. There will be a production/sweeper vehicle with a trailer in case of any bike failures. The vehicle will be able to provide technical support in remote areas and be designed for the gravel portion of the event as well as offer a central point for production and media management.
Competition begins when all riders have their bikes delivered to a shared garage space in Elora.
Film Schedule:
Day 1: All bikes have arrived. Bike familiarity and maintenance, bike paperwork taken care of, all riders and production crew doing piece to camera introducing themselves and talking about the event and prep
Day 2: Bike familiarity and preparation, filming continues
Day 3: Bike familiarity and preparation, finalizing ride planning, filming continues. All bikes in park ferme at the end of the day ready for the morning's off.
Day 4: 7am Race start in Elora. Filmed by production vehicle crew and GoPros on bikes.
Production vehicle stopping in Thunder Bay on Day 1.
Day 5: 7am start. Production vehicle stopping at Windigo to await arrival of riders (riders who arrive early will have a major penalty, so no one should be there until day 3)
Day 6: Production vehicle at Windigo Lake awaiting arrivals. End of day 6: close of event party on Windigo
Day 7: All rider camping gear to be taken in by the support vehicle for a lighter ride back. Sweeping the road south to Silver Dollar (the beginning of pavement). All competitors camping at Silver Dollar Campsite that night. Confirm end of event with all riders.
Day 8: Retrace/sweep route to Thunder Bay. End of rally event in Thunder Bay. Riders who want to keep their bikes have 3 days to return to the workspace in Elora in order to claim ownership. Riders who want to find their own way home can do so and bikes will be transported in the trailer.
Day 9: Production vehicle sweeps south clearing any bikes that have been parked.
Day 11: Any bikes that have returned to the workspace in Elora have their ownership turned over to their riders.
Episodes: 45 minute edited
1) Introducing riders, bike selection and preparation - possibly include off-road training at SMART Adventures?
2) Rally Start: day one on the road
3) Rally Continued: day two on the road
4) Rally Conclusion: day three on the road and rally winners and finishers highlighted
5) where did they go missing riders review, post rally interviews while returning to Thunder Bay, final presentations in TB, sweeping up, who got to keep their bikes
Total production time: 3.75 hours of edited footage
Other opportunities: Work with SMART Adventures out of Horseshoe Valley - include bits on how to ride off road, what riders can expect, how to manage bikes on loose surfaces.
Rough costing:
8 Competitors @ $3000 per bike = $24,000
Production Vehicle Cost (rental & gasoline): $3000
Insurance & Paperwork costs at $1000 each competitor = $8,000
Production equipment (cameras, drone, on bike GoPros): $5000
Production team hotels: 4 people x 2 nights Thunder Bay, 1 night on the road back, 2 nights camping in the north = $2000
Camping gear: $1000/competitor + production crew = $10,000 (mitigated by sponsorship?)
Total rough budget: $52,000. Estimated budget: $60,000 (mitigated by sponsorship)
Sponsorship opportunities:
- workshop/repair centre where bike setup takes place
The other day I did a ride that isn't typical of my time on two wheels - I aimed for the middle of a city, during rush hour. The siren call for this insanity was strong. The Toronto Motorcycle Film Festival was having a best-of showing at the beautifully restored Playhouse Theatre in Hamilton. From TMD you'll know I'm a big fan of motorcycle media and the TMFF's push to encourage Canadian films is something I'd like to both support and participate in. Riding down to Hamilton on a beautiful summer's day was the perfect entry point and has me thinking of ways to get to their main show in Toronto in early October. I'm secretly hoping I can find a project that needs a drone pilot aerial camera operator and likes weird camera angles.
But first, the peril. Driving in rush hour isn't like driving at other times. The people doing it are miserable, embroiled in the last part of their forced servitude for the day, the part where they get to spend a sizable portion of their time and income in a vehicle that has become an expensive appliance whose only function is to move them to and from the job it demands. The aimless frustration and misery oozes out of them at every turn, sometimes expressing itself in sudden bursts of anger and aggression before settling back into a miasmic death stare of indifference. So that was making me anxious. Looking at Google Maps red roads of the GTA at rush hour on a warm, sunny day wasn't thrilling either. Sitting in traffic on a motorcycle in moribund no-filtering Ontario sucks. It sucks on the fumes of the massive SUVs all around you, their contents breathing filtered, air conditioned air while you choke on their output. Edging toward a green light inches at a time on hot tarmac surrounded by this excess and misery is about as much fun as a deep periodontal cleaning, without the benefits, and with the destruction of nature as the result of this pointlessness. I haven't had much time on the bike this summer. My wife's surprise cancer diagnosis and surgery has meant other priorities take hold. Finally back from weeks in a car, I was facing my first long ride in over two months, and it wasn't for the ride, it was for the destination. Alanna wanted to ride pillion down, though she's still recovering. I was worried about her, feeling very over protective and also dealing with my son's anxiety in us going after being away at camp for the first time this summer (don't worry, we're coming back!). That's a lot of emotional luggage to take on a ride. Even leaving our subdivision I was second guessing traffic and riding awkwardly, and getting frustrated with myself for it. I'm usually loose and light on the controls and not stuck in a conscious state while riding - which makes me smooth and fluid, even in traffic. We worked our way down to the dreaded Hanlon bypass in Guelph (which isn't because it's covered in traffic lights) and sat in row after row of the damned things every few hundred metres. I was constantly placing us on the road where I could squirt out of the way of someone not paying attention. We passed two collisions, rear enders caused by the epidemic around us. Sitting up high on the bike has its disadvantages, like seeing down into the vehicles around us and watching over half of the drivers working their phones on their laps. I guess that's the new normal in a 2019 commute. Down by Stone Road the guy behind us wasn't going to stop in time (he had a nice iPhoneX on his lap), but I squirted out onto the shoulder instead of letting him end our ride and took the next exit where we worked down country side roads instead, but not before being choked to death by a diesel black smoke belching dump truck that jumped out right in front of us causing me to brake so hard we bumped into each other. I finally got past him after riding in his bleching, black haze for several kilometres, but by this point I was fried, and we'd only ridden through Guelph, the small city before the big one. I was going to pull off at the lovely old church in Kirkwall and have a stretch and get my head on straight, but the F150 dualie behind me was about six inches off my rear tire even though I was going over the limit and I was afraid to hit the brake, so pressed on. He blew past us coming out of Kirkwall only to pull up behind the car 150 metres ahead of us and stay there until he eventually pulled off some time later. You gotta make time on your commute I guess. Doubt isn't something that creeps into my riding, but it was starting to here. The lack of control and extremely defensive mindset was exhausting me. Alanna was suffering hot flashes on the back mainly due to Guelph's atrocious traffic and lights and was feeling wobbly, and I was starting to question everything I was doing. We are coming home Max. This isn't going to end badly!
We were both on the lookout for a place to stop when the Rockton Berry Farm appeared as if an oasis in the desert. I pulled in and we dragged our sweaty, tense bodies off the Tiger. Alanna went in and found some sustenance and I did some yoga. After stretching and some Gatorade and trail mix I felt human again. Talking to Alanna I mentioned how I was battling some demons on this ride and reminded myself that the best kind of rider is the Zen rider. Matt Crawford describes motorcycling as a beautiful war, but this one was more like a pitched battle. It's amazing what a stop can do for your mental state though. After a fifteen minute break we saddled up again ready to face the horror of Hamilton's rush hour, but something had changed. Instead of holding on too tight, I was letting go. My riding was more fluid, we flowed with the chaos and when we got down to the mean streets of downtown Hamilton, they were a delight. Unlike Guelph, who seem determined to stop you at every intersection, Hamilton actually times its lights so you can cut through the heart of the city with barely a stop. Past the beautiful old houses and industrial buildings we flew, down to the up and coming area where that beautifully restored Playhouse Theatre sat.
As we pulled into the parking lot that was already filling with all manner of motorcycles, I thought over that ride down. I'd actually suggested that maybe we should take the car, but that would have sucked just as much and had no sense of adventure and accomplishment in it, though it would have been easier and safer - the motto of modern day life.
If you're in a situation where you're riding and finding it overwhelming, take a break and give yourself a chance to get your head back on straight. You'd be amazed what a ten minute stretch and reset can do for your mindset, and that mindset is your greatest tool when riding. In spite of her cancer recovery, Alanna had pushed to ride because she wanted us to 'immerse ourselves in that biking culture' in going to this event. Standing in the parking lot chatting with other riders, we were doing just that.
I'll cover the film night in another post, but the ride down was a reflective opportunity I couldn't pass up. In Bull Durham, Crash Davis talks about how you go about the difficult job of being a professional athlete. You've gotta have swagger, even when things are going against you, and that's equally true in motorbiking. After this ride, I can see why many people who otherwise enjoyed it gave it up. That fear, once it worms its way inside you, will talk you out of risk no matter what the reward.
Of course, the point isn't to not feel fear, but to feel it and work through it anyway. That's bravery. Not feeling fear at all is psychosis. Baz Luhrman has a good take on this with his motto: a life lived in fear is a life lived. Letting fear dictate your life is no way to live. We are already dead when we always play safe and stop taking risks. What made it especially challenging this time was that I couldn't moderate many of those risks by riding away from the faceless hordes of commuters. Spending a day with them in their pointless battle to destroy the planet was exhausting and terrifying, no wonder they box themselves up in the largest container they can afford, planet be damned. The motorcycle films shown by the TMFF were great and completely new to me (and I'm a guy with Austin Vince's entire DVD collection - I know moto-films). One of my favourite parts of this kind of documentary film making is showing what is possible, and I was briming over with it when we left. I couldn't have been in a better mood to ride. We exited into the dark for the long ride home. It was cool and the streets were flowing and half empty as we worked our way back to the highway and shot up into the dark of the Niagara Escarpment. Even the guy driving 10 under the limit who suddenly stood on the brakes for no reason (he had evidently received an exciting text message - he was two handing a response as we passed him on the inside lane of Highway 6) didn't phase me. I was back on my game, staring into the dark out of my third eye. When that eye gazes into the abyss, the abyss is the one that gets nervous.
Now I'm thinking about a third eye graphic for the helmet...
We got all the way up to Guelph, sane now that traffic had died down and all the sad people were in their row houses waiting for tomorrow to do it again. If we're so smart, you'd have to think we could find a better way. Shakespeare Arms by the university we met at over twenty years ago provided us with a late night dinner before we pressed on home, passing a skunk (the Canadian night is filled with them) galloping across the road into the graveyard ahead of us. The last light (of course) caught us, then we were away into the night, the Milky Way glittering above us and the night smells all around. We were home seemingly seconds later, our creaking, cold joints groaning as we finally seperated ourselves from our trusty Tiger. *** We rode right into south central Hamilton at rush hour and out after 9pm, about 12 kilometres of dense, urban riding with more traffic lights than I could count, but we got stopped at three of them both coming and going. I commented to Alanna about how Hamilton has its shit together in a way that Guelph seems oblivious to. Passing back through Guelph past 10pm at night and covering about a kilometre less in a city with less than a quarter the population, we got stopped at nine traffic lights. On our way south earlier in the day during rush hour, Guelph was a traffic light bonanza (even on the 'bypass') getting stopped at no less than six lights before we could escape the madness. Guelph should rename itself the city of lights, just not in a Parisian sense. Perhaps the moral of this story is really just don't go anywhere near Guelph if you can help it. It's time they started urban planning like the city they have quickly grown into. It'd make the chaos that much less overwhelming (not to mention, ya know, stopping the iminent demise of the human race). There's this thing called IoT and smart cities? Guelph should look into it - I'd be happy to help.
Apparently a large number of people who make motorcycle themed boards on Pinterest don't think too much of women. They either enjoy taking shots at their biological functions or treating them like sex toys. This gets tiresome quickly when you post nothing like this on your boards.
Evidently there is mathematical evidence that many people who like motorcycles also have a tendency to hate women and nurse giant insecurity complexes; or perhaps they are just the loudest ones.
